Confused Yet?

This was send to me via email, you will never look at things the same again.

ONLY THE ENGLISH COULD HAVE INVENTED THIS LANGUAGE !!!

We'll begin with a box,
                  and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen,
                  not oxes.

One fowl is a goose,
                  but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose
                  should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse
                  or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house
                  is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man
                  is always called men,
Then shouldn't the plural of pan
                  be called pen?

If I speak of my foot
                  and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot,
                  would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth
                  and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth
                  be called beeth?

Then one may be that,
                  and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural
                  would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats,
                  not cose.

We speak of a brother
                  and also of brethren,
But though we say mother,
                  we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
                  But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant
                  nor ham in hamburger;
Neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England.

We take English for granted,
                  but if we explore its paradoxes,
We find that quicksand can work slowly,
                  boxing rings are square,
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea
                  nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write
                  but fingers don't fing,
Grocers don't groce
                  and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends
                  but not one amend.

If you have a bunch of odds and ends
And get rid of all but one of them,
                  what do you call it?

If teachers taught,
                  why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
                  what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play
                  and play at a recital?

We ship by truck
                  but send cargo by ship.

We have noses that run
                  and feet that smell.

We park in a driveway
                  and drive in a parkway.

And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
                  While a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
In which your house can burn up
                  as it burns down,
in which you fill in a form
                  by filling it out,
And in which an alarm goes off
                  by going on.

And, in closing, if Father is Pop,
                  how come Mother is not Mop?