The Wiccan Rede

Bide the Wiccan Laws we must In Perfect Love and Perfect Trust. Live and let live. Fairly take and fairly give. Cast the Circle thrice about To keep the evil spirits out. To bind the spell every time Let the spell be spake in rhyme. Soft of eye and light of touch, Speak little, listen much. Deosil go by the waxing moon, Chanting out the Witches' Rune. Widdershins go by the waning moon, Chanting out the baneful rune. When the Lady's moon is new, Kiss the hand to her, times two. When the moon rides at her peak, Then your heart's desire seek, Heed the North wind's mighty gale, Lock the door and drop the sail. When the wind comes from the South, Love will kiss thee on the mouth. When the wind blows from the West, Departed souls will have no rest. When the wind blows from the East, Expect the new and set the feast. Nine woods in the cauldron go, Burn them fast and burn them slow. Elder be the Lady's tree, Burn it not or cursed you'll be. When the Wheel begins to turn, Let the Beltane fires burn. When the Wheel has turned to Yule, Light the log and the Horned One rules. Heed ye Flower, Bush and Tree, By the Lady, blessed be. Where the rippling waters go, Cast a stone and truth you'll know. When ye have a true need, Hearken not to others' greed. With a fool no season spend, Lest ye be counted as his friend. Merry meet and merry part, Bright the cheeks and warm the heart. Mind the Threefold Law you should, Three times bad and three times good. When misfortune is enow, Wear the blue star on thy brow. True in Love ever be, Lest thy lover's false to thee. Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill: An ye harm none, do what ye will.
- Blessed Be -
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Friday, January 22, 2010

Confused Yet?

This was send to me via email, you will never look at things the same again.


We'll begin with a box,
                  and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen,
                  not oxes.

One fowl is a goose,
                  but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose
                  should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse
                  or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house
                  is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man
                  is always called men,
Then shouldn't the plural of pan
                  be called pen?

If I speak of my foot
                  and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot,
                  would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth
                  and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth
                  be called beeth?

Then one may be that,
                  and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural
                  would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats,
                  not cose.

We speak of a brother
                  and also of brethren,
But though we say mother,
                  we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
                  But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant
                  nor ham in hamburger;
Neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England.

We take English for granted,
                  but if we explore its paradoxes,
We find that quicksand can work slowly,
                  boxing rings are square,
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea
                  nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write
                  but fingers don't fing,
Grocers don't groce
                  and hammers don't ham?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends
                  but not one amend.

If you have a bunch of odds and ends
And get rid of all but one of them,
                  what do you call it?

If teachers taught,
                  why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
                  what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play
                  and play at a recital?

We ship by truck
                  but send cargo by ship.

We have noses that run
                  and feet that smell.

We park in a driveway
                  and drive in a parkway.

And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
                  While a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
In which your house can burn up
                  as it burns down,
in which you fill in a form
                  by filling it out,
And in which an alarm goes off
                  by going on.

And, in closing, if Father is Pop,
                  how come Mother is not Mop?

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